DAILY MONSTER 62
Good morning! I hope the week is going well for you so far. Please take a look at all the amazing stories that came in for yesterday’s monster:
Now, please say Hello to Monster 62. Clearly, the time had come for another squiddy creature. Deep sea squid? Space squid? Imperial seeker droid from ice planet Hoth? I can’t wait to hear what stories pop into your head for 62 here. Please take a few minutes and…
Thank you for visting the monsters. I hope lots of good things will come to you today.
You’re already off to a good start, because 344 LOVES YOU
That one’s under my bed.
“Tentacles?”, said 62. “No dear sir, vascular attachments of sorts. For ichor, you know.”
I scratched my head. “But ichor is the blood of the gods.”
“Not quite. It’s a mineral present in their blood that keeps then immortal. Poisonous to mortals such as yourself.”
“I see. So you are an immortal monster.”
“Not correct.”
“So? What are you?”
“I am the head of an immortal monster. It’s yet to be seen if that happy condition remains after the detachment. I hope so.”
I nodded. 62 floated away, his vascular attachments of sorts trailing in the wind, his eyes high, a proud head. A polite one too.
monster 62 was’nt just a monster, oh no, not just that, he was a special monster, under the specimen of an floof. A floof is a kind of creature that floats, but, lengends tell that if you find a floofs flip (the tentacly part)you’ll get granted 2 wishes. And it just so happens that Bob (how original :P) found a Floofs Flip. Bob did’nt know what to wish for, so he decided to go on a trip and ask other people what they would wish for. The first creature bob came across was a fish, so bob asked “Mr.Fishy, if you found a Floofs Flip what would you wish for” and the fish answered “I’d wish for no sharks to ever be alive, there evil” Bob did’nt want to kill all sharks because they never did anything worng to him so bob decided to ask the wisest animal ever on wishes, a Floof himself. So Bob searched and searched until he found a floof and asked him, “f you found your own Flip what would you wish for?” and the floof looked at him and smiled “I’d wish for it to be back on me.”
If Phil Karigorn had been born to any other parents in the entire world, he could have had a chance of ending up a normal, happy child.
However, to any other parents he was not born. No, indeed, Phil was born to a Dentist.
From the moment he was born, a naked, wailing, but more importantly TOOTHLESS babe, Phil became the test subject for all kinds of denture implants. His father crammed his mouth full of molars, fangs, tusks, you name it, until Mrs. Karigorn left her obessive husband for a flower shop assistant down the street. (Happens more often than you would think.)
Filled with anger and grief, Phil’s father lost his mind (I hear it’s been pickled and put on a shelf in a warehouse somewhere in New Jersey.) and proceeded to experiment upon his helpless son, completely leaving poor Phil’s teeth behind, working on to his limbs and earlobs, employing the use of toothpaste in hideous ways that toothpaste was never meant to be employed!
When Phil came to, he found he was a new man… such a new man that he was no longer man at all. They took him away and put him in a zoo, where all the little children (born to all the other parents that Phil COULD have been born to) can gawk at the rock-tooth squid creature.
It’s the same story we’ve heard hundreds of times before. Boy takes tour of candy plant. Boy spills barrel of toxic refuse. Toxic refuse spills into copper candy kettle. End result, radioactive mutant spice drops.
Typically adorning gingerbread houses or other works of culinary consummation, spice drops are usually seen as docile and sweet. Mutant spice drops however, are quite different. Complete with sugar tendrils and rocky choppers, these little bastards are tough. Their pectin hearts burn with furious molten sugary fervor. They can blind you from ten feet with razor sharp granulated sugar spit wads.
The candy plant issued a warning for any spice drops purchased on or around December 10th, 2006. The lot number printed on the suspected spice drop bags is: 19-7-2-344. If you for any reason think you have a bag of mutated spice drops, please return it to your local supermarket for a full refund.
This monster is Snarkus McFarley, former manager of Chainsaws R Us in Ebbettsville, Indiana. Snarkus was actually a human being back when he worked at Chainsaws R Us. But one fateful day, an angry customer stormed into the shop, shouting that the chain on his brand-new chainsaw had, once again, fallen off. Enormously frustrated without his chainsaw to use as an outlet for his anger, this furious customer — who was quite burly — seized Snarkus by the sides of his head and pulled his head clean off.
I suppose I should not say “clean,” because it was a messy incident. Blood, veins, arteries, etc. trailed from Snarkus’ head.
Similarly enraged but now helpless at avenging the crime against his body, Snarkus’ anger enlivened his bodiless head, seared the ragged ends of his veins and arteries and such and in short transformed his head into its current monster state. Angry Snarkus Head then discovered a new desire to be waterborne. Using his veins and arteries and such which had solidified to become appendages, Snarkus McFarley scooched himself to the Ebbettsville River where he began his life as a freshwater monster squid.
He has since swum on from the Ebbettsville River to follow other freshwater bodies, and he remains at large. He could be trolling any inland lake or waterway anywhere in North America. So the next time you are swimming in some nearby lake or river and you feel a tendrilly groping about the ankles, remember that it could be Snarkus McFarley and say loud enough for him to hear, “I’m sorry you lost your body, Snarkus!” If he hears you, he will be grateful for your sympathy and leave you alone. Otherwise . . . SNAPP-O!
Hitomi’s Boleander-X glided through the Toran Belt like a rehearsed dance. Even the small rocks picked off by the auto-targeter seemed part of the choreography. It swung low to avoid a rather large mineral cluster and swayed right to pull past a few more rocks. Her face would have been considered calm if it wasn’t for the grin stretching across her cheeks. She was clearly enjoying the ride.
Dein, however, obviously wasn’t. His many tentacled fingers gripping onto any surface within reach. His bulbous head bobbing with every twist and turn. His eyes sliding back and forth watching every bit of the environment around them. At some points looking a little ill. Especially when the auto-targeter couldn’t keep up with Hitomi’s speed and she’d compensate to avoid the hit.
“Really, Miss Suchiyo! Must we take this particular route?” Hitomi looked behind her at her unnerved crew member and gave a wink. “It’s faster!” was her non-chalant reply.
After clearing the belt, the cruiser slowed and sailed through space. Hitomi slumped back into her chair and spun to face Dein. He gave her a dissatisfied look and hopped down from the chair to trot across to a console. “C’mon Dein… it wasn’t that bad.”
“You take too many risks, my dear. It’s those kinds of risks that get people noticed. Often times killed.” Dein tapped a few buttons and a grid flashed on a small monitor. “As I said… noticed. How exciting — by pirates, no less. I suggest an accelerated course to the Alnon Sector.”
A crease inched at the corner of Hitomi’s lips. “I’m not big on endurance runs. Let’s play Hide ‘n Seek!” She leaned forward to grab the stick, jerked it hard to the left and punched the B-X’s drives to full — straight back into the belt.
Scrambling to find something to hold onto, Dein’s many appendages scuttled across the floor. “I’m not paid enough.”
oog, too late for me to log in a story, but I’ve sure enjoyed reading all of yours, and watching headless monster roll his eyes!! primo! you know I love the animation!
I did just watch the premier episode of the first Futurama ever (I’ve never really sat down to watch it….WOW have I been missing out!). Reminds me of the Hall of Heads that Frye flees into…you, uh…know the one? Either that or the tentacley doctor on board ship – yeah, that’s it!
HE’S GOT LEGGGGGGS, HE KNOWS HOW TO UUUUSE THEM!!!
I think I have to confess, I kind of violated the NoDerivative part of your CC license, but I’m better at drawing than at writing stories, and the similarity between Monster 62 and Pokey (Clyde) was just too good… and I love those tentacle thingies.
So the animated shortstory of Monster 62’s day:
http://alphabeter.zuerner.at/animonster/
Hi Florian. Your animation is BRILLIANT! I love it! That’s beautiful tentacle action! Thank you so muchfor doing that. I hope you’ll come back and animate more monsters!
Greeg hoped that all of the coffee he had ingested would give him the speed he needed to make it to the lu.
Squid mutiert zu squib und Knallfrosch zu Knallerbse. Die Knallerbse ist sehr sehr böse. Kein Wunder, früher war sie ein angesehenes Tiefseemonster mit ihren acht Armen und ihren zwei langen Tentakeln und jetzt…Nicht mal das Gefranse wurde anständig gedröselt!
Sie könnte glatt zerplatzen vor angestauter Wut.
I love these monsters!
I think number 62, no I KNOW number 62 is a zombie squid.
He washed up on a shore one day, after having lived a long wonderful life, but then was mercylessly taken aboard the franken-truck to frankenstein’s labroratory because that mad-scientist wanted to make sure his technique worked before trying it on a human. But that wasn’t THE frankenstein, it was his brother , Frankenstyne. Frankenstyne did not think about how much water was in a squid, and was electrecuted while trying to hit the squid with lightning. Later, frankenSTEIN tryed his brother(who was the actual genius)’s technique on a human, with wich he created a monster that wasn’t even supposed to be his, claming all the glory. Monster number 62 is what is left of that squid, and believe me, he was only smiling for the camera. He now lives in a cave somewhere .Stupid frankenstein