DAILY MONSTER 186 (of 200)
Good morning. Can you believe it? It’s already Friday again. I know I say this a lot now, but man.. the weeks fly by faster and faster. Crazy! I hope this one’s been good to you, and that you’ve got a good weekend ahead of you. It definitely was a brilliant week for monster stories. Just take yesterday’s tales for Monster 185, for example:
Now, hold very still, so you don’t scare away Monster 186:
Much like myself, Monster 186 appears to be NUTS 4 NUTS. But why? Surely this isn’t just any ordinary woodland creature, is it? Is it biological in nature? Is it a cyborg squirrel? Is it a zombie squirrel? Is this some sort of kinky furry thing? When something looks as simple and straightforward as this, then surely… surely something is not what it appears. I’m looking forward to hearing your conspiracy theories! If you wouldn’t mind, please go ahead and…
Thank you for being here for the monsters
this week. Two new ones will be waiting for you
tomorrow and Sunday respectively. I hope
you’ll drop by to say Hello. For now, have a mellow
rest of the day and a great Friday night.
Please be safe, and remember: 344 LOVES YOU
The squirrels had been very good to him, very kind.
None of their females would mate with him, of course. And why would he want them, with their puny little teeth?
But the squirrels had been very good to him, all the same…they’d allowed him his own space, and he’d filled it with the tree-eggs without anyone lifting an eyebrow.
He couldn’t wait to take them home and hatch them.
“What is this curious bulbous, pointy-ended thing?” Lenny wondered as he carefully polished this precious object with his furry tail. Looking for answers, he brought his new discovery to an expert. After close examination, Professor Carlson declared, “Cyclobalanopsis!”
It’s an intersected monsterthing. Something between an ordinary squirrel and a canadian beaver. Sitting on a giant branch, looking for big nuts…
Well-known for the best nut gathering in town, is it always very busy. Tt became a rich guy and all the female world love it.
They also love it’s fluffy and furry beaver hair. Oh, it’s like a cuddly toy!
It’s an intersected monsterthing. Something between an ordinary squirrel and a canadian beaver. Sitting on a giant branch, looking for big nuts…
Well-known for the best nut gathering in town, is it always very busy. Tt became a rich guy and all the female world love it.
They also love it’s fluffy and furry beaver hair. Oh, it’s like a cuddly toy!
All across the world, billions of squirrels heard it, and froze. It bubbled up through them, like someone was using their tail as a megaphone and their skeleton was some sort of instrumental reed.
“…PLEASE…”
Someone or something was attempting to appeal to their pathos. Someone somewhere was requesting each and every squirrel to move together. How nice of the hive mind request to start the sentence with the magic word.
“…BITE…”
They now felt complete as squirrel-mind onto the task ahead. With all their tree-skittering ability, by Nutkin, they would bite! Several hundred thousand turned their heads toward joggers, parkbenched elderly, leashed pets, frisbee-playing fools. It sounded complete in their action. They waited for more of the sentence, otherwise they were perched to attack.
“…FRANCINE…”
They all leapt from trees, rushing to phonebooks, hijacking boats, planes, commuter tram systems through bewildered and terrified humankind. They encircled each and every Francine’s house in the known world with a twenty-foot high wall of telepathically instructioned tree rat. Some Francines had later experienced a sort of prehistoric subconscious freaking-out of sorts- massive whatevers moving out there, all toward them in solid intent, like a magnetic iron fililng bristling. Some screamed, some wet themselves, some sat bolt upright in nursing homes.
“…NEEDLEMAN…”
He whispered it into the microphone atop Mount Ikskian. He spoke the word into the wheeled machine, doubting its effects.
It worked too well.
The squirrel sat atop a branch, turning the nut around in his little paws. From his small view of the world, the feared ground seemed pacifyingly far away from him. Some huge fireflies on sticks illuminated the darkness below him at some points. Moths danced around them like flies danced around a dead bird sometimes. He found them rather pathetic. Light in the darkness always meant danger. That’s what every squirrel learned in his first weeks of life.
Down, far below him, there were the dens of the two-legged creatures, he knew. It was late in the night. Soon, the big bright god of the day would crawl up the sky, casting out all the evils of the dark time. The two-legged creatures knew this, too, that’s probably why they only went out with big lights and weird, fast-moving boxes around them in the night.
But our squirrel wasn’t stupid. He had lived long enough in this tree, right in the center of the creatures’ dens to know what they feared the most. He had seen how noises they deemed unknown had awoken the entire population. Some had went outside, some ran around and yelled around, other ones grumpily returned into their dens.
He turned the nut around in his paws. It was a very delicious nut and he would have eaten it if the situation was another. But the creatures had killed his family, one by one, by letting their shiny, rapid boxes ran over his parents, his siblings and other relatives. It was time for revenge.
The squirrel let the nut fall out of his paws, waiting for the impact.
One day monster 186 was walking down the pavement, his stomach growling. All because all the restaurants threw him out because he didn’t look like a monster. He kept walking he saw signs that said “Monsters only, no regulars allowed”, that only made him feel worse and more hungry. All the sudden Monster 186 sees a perfectly round nut. “Something’s better than nothing, so I guess I’ll try it.” Monster 186 said. Monster 186 bit into the nut and screamed “Who cares about restaurants?! I’ve got a nut!!!!”
Barkle bakes beer battered nuts in his bark covered birch tree.
Barkle bites into his beautifully browned nut while basking in the bronzing sun on his birch branch.
Barkle believes that being bloodcurdling is bodacious.
But, unbeknownst to Barkle, he is itty bitty. Only bugs are bothered by Barkle.
Barkle becomes bitter and bites into his breakfast.
CHOMP! CHOMP!
I was just thumbing through the HOW 08 design conference catalog and who was in the #12 spot smiling back at me 🙂
How funny that you will be in my neck of the woods (kinda) and I’ll be heading to yours… You’ll have to let me know if you will be back in Cali so I can meet up for your John Hancock 🙂
It’s a feral coconut escurel holding on to dinner. They come out at night to feast and find love. This little fella’ must have spotted a mate off in the distance. Let’s leave them alone so they can get better acquainted.
Descendant of Scrat.
Unlike his predecessor,
He conquers the nut.
His name is Scrat-ER.
Where his forefather had failed,
Scrat-er accomplished.
Do you thang squirrely.
May misfortune miss always.
Luck is on your side.
By the way Scrat-er,
I really like your belly.
May I rub it please?
I FOUND A NUT! OH MY GOD I FOUND A NUT! THISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOL…OH MY GOD! TAKE THAT Chip and Dale! AAAAAAAAAAAAATHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS TOSOCOOLTHISIS I FOUND A NUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TAKE THAT HAMMY! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I mitate no one.
C rystal clear your true essence.
E at the nut quickly.
A gainst all the odds.
G rant yourself true happiness.
E at the nut quickly.
Act III
He was working as a janitor at the Monsterversity. Using the squirrel as a puppet, the Nut remained undetected, forging monstrous plans. If the squirrel was the Pinky, then the Nut was the Brain.
On that day, the squirrel puppet seemed to have a malfunction, which the Nut only realized, when he wasn’t able to stop it. Crawling around the air conditioning system, both stopped at a vent. There was a strange radiation coming from below, affecting the squirrel. It let go of the Nut. The Nut fell down and hit the strange kid everyone called Alcanite. No one found out, but let me tell you, it was this incident that caused it all.
He had been looking for nuts. It took so long to find nuts. And now after searching for hours he finally decided to eat the fruits of his labor. He ate every nut except for one, then he had a good night sleep. The next morning he decided to eat the last nut for breakfast So here he goes.
He hadn’t noticed anything different about the nuts, but he did notice that he seemed to be craving them more often. Even in the important job of standing in the same spot for minutes on end and sniffing things, he found that he would have to keep going back to the nuts. The other squirrels noticed this, and used their local currency (nuts) to get him what he wanted (the special nuts). Soon he found that he could not even survive without them. Back to the hole. And back again. Again… and again… and again…
This is what all the squirrels look like where I live….
This is Puck. Puck hated living in the city but now he sill lives in city under a bridge with a guy who spills chili on Puck then countinues to eat it without a spoon. Puck got tired of it and took the bus 34 hours later Puck woke up in Canada. Puck walked and walked till he reached a cave.”This will be my new home!” Puck thought. Puck got sorta lonley so he picked up a rock and grabed a marker from some dude with a marker and drew a smiley face on it and named it Charlie.
And they lived happily ever after….
The end……
Really….