WEEKLY MONSTER 118
Good morning. How’s the week treating you so far? I hope the onset of fall sees you nice and cozy. My thanks to all of you who came to see me at the AIGA Conference in Denver on Friday. I had a great time meeting you.
Now that I’m back in the office, and I’m done designing the Monster Book, I’ve moved on to designing… more of the Monster Book. One of the DVD extras is a PDF with a log of the entire Daily Monster blog for the 100 Daily Monster period. The book proper has just shy of 50,000 words. This PDF has almost 120,000. Even I am not crazy enough to kern the whole thing, but just the basic formatting takes time, and I am doing a bit of triage ragging to avoid the really nasty widows. Of course, every time I forget to take out a story that doesn’t come with a release form, all the page breaks change and I have to go through it again. It’s a bear.
So it’s been a nice change of pace to make a new Weekly Monster for you. I hope you’ll like it.
I hope you’ll tell me what this jolly fellow’s story is. Clearly something mysterious is happening to him at the end there. I know you’ve already got an idea what it is, so please…
For now, I must get back to work. Open Source Monsters are coming up shortly! I promise.In the meantime, I hope you’ll have a fun Wednesday (if such a thing exists.) You know that 344 LOVES YOU
P.S.: As you may have noticed, you can now record some monster sounds on the right there. Here is a great example of a sound for Monster 117, courtesy of iconsiderhelobster, who has this to say: “It’s the sound of his wings, in really, really slow motion.” Check it out:
Hey! I’m a widow….I hope I’m not one of those “really nasty” ones…..*L*
This new guy heard the sound of those wings and knew one of his flying monster compatriots was really in trouble. Running out of monster fuel, maybe. So he looked around overhead to get a bead on the problem. Standing up higher and moving around like you would to catch something falling from the sky, he was able to do it. Caught the falling monster right in his open mouth.
I’ll leave it to you to decide what happened next…*grim smile*
I couldn’t find his legs because I think he walked away to a monster hotel. He was going to swim in the monster pool. And then he went to the basketball game. And he played badminton racket. That’s how you play badminton racket. His name is “Silly.” –Emlyn (5), and Denali (2)
Appearing For One Night Only!
The Barclay Lounge R is proud to present…
The Musical Stylings of Tallest Band in Town
“Soul Patch and the Cold Sober Seven”
Come Dance The Night Away
To The Best Toe Tapping Music Just This Side of Heaven!
“Soul Patch and the Cold Sober Seven”
Hear The Hits!
“I Gave You A Kiss, So Give Me The Keys”
“He’s Not Steppin’ Out, Just Steppin’ Over You”
“How’s The Weather In Ankle Town”
This Is The Biggest Band Ever To Play The Barclay Lounge R!
“Soul Patch and the Cold Sober Seven”
Dance to Your Favorite Songs! Some Too Big For The Charts!
“My Head’s In The Clouds, But I’m Still Over You”
“Mister Party Is A Fungi”
“I’ll Hold The Ladder While You Climb To My Heart”
That’s For One Night Only
At The Barclay Lounge R
“Soul Patch and the Cold Sober Seven”
The Tallest Band in Town
All Albert wanted was to be in a razor blade commercial.
Every night, he sat in his navy blue recliner with his tall glass of grapefruit juice, and watched his favorite television programs. And every night he saw the same commercials. But that one commercial, that one amazingly silly commercial made him want to get up and scream in pain. These baby faced boys! How would they know what a good shave was all about? How would they know the pain of a razor that just wouldn’t cut? Did they understand the nightmare he suffered every Thursday? (Thursday was Albert’s shaving day.) Of course they didn’t! They couldn’t!
He could see it now. HIS commercial. There would be no need for fancy effects. It would just be him, standing in front of a blue, maybe purple curtain, sharing what he knows of this most amazing razor. Of course, first he would have to run numerous tests on the various razors the company sold. He would test them, and tell them if they were worthwhile or horrible. He would know right away. At the first sign of a hair tug, he would throw that razor out of the running. Hair tugging was not acceptable. But once he found that perfect razor, he would never let anyone take it away from him. He would pour his heart out in that commercial. He might even cry over the sheer joy he felt in finally, FINALLY, finding a razor that worked. He knew that all over the world there were people that would understand and they would be touched from seeing Albert on the television, standing there with the razor that changed his Thursdays forever. They would go right to the store and buy that same razor so they could feel that joy, too.
So next time you kick back in your favorite chair to watch your favorite programs on television, be on the lookout for Albert crying and bearing his soul about the wonderful razor he has found.
Up, up and awaaaaay, my beautiful baboon…
…..tell me I’m not entirely alone here…
great stuff as usual
and that ‘slow wing’ sound effect was brilliance!!
*laffin’ at The Tallest Band in Town*
Moloch who entered my soul early!
Moloch in whom I am a consciousness without a body!
Moloch who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy!
Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch! Light streaming out of the sky!
Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs! skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries! spectral nations! invincible mad houses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!
They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pave-ments, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven…
Hey, du… Zeichner… nicht die escape Taste drücken.
Da gehn sie dahin die Beine…völlig losgelöst…
Fehler in der Steuerung? Oder hab ich da was von Tücken der Technik gehört?